My interesting morning
It was a morning like any other. I awoke on the couch, my contacts plastered to my eyes because I forgot to take them out last night. I forced myself to get up and make some breakfast for my son, got myself cleaned up and headed off to work.
As I entered town, I was listening to Incesticide by Nirvana, "Aero Zeppelin" specifically. I was running late as usual, and was speeding, going about 40 in a 30 zone. Honest. I was heading West. After I stopped at a stop sign, I was almost at work. I had an upcoming left turn (to go south), so I geared my bitchin' truck down into second and made the turn going about 20 mph. No muss, no fuss, just a little bit of squeal from the rear tires.
At this point, I am only about 100 yards from the staff parking lot at work. That's when I see him: a city cop with all his lights flashing, siren cranked up.
"Well, looks like another speeding ticket," I said to myself. I'm completely jaded to this **** by now.
I couldn't pull over on the two lane southbound street I was on without obstructing traffic, and I didn't want to give this cop any more reason to get mad at me. Little did I know, it wouldn't have mattered.
He was right behind me when I pulled into a parking space in the employee lot. He tears out of his squad car, gun drawn like Dirty Harry, screaming at me at me to exit the vehicle. This has never happened to me before, and I can't even venture a guess at how many times I have been pulled over. Once I got out, he demanded I get on my knees and put my hands behind my back, all the while pointing his gun at an obviously unarmed man.
"Why were you hauling ***?! Why were you hauling ***?!" He bellowed.
I don't think that is the dialogue that they teach them in the academy.
Then the bastard cuffed me! Son of a bitch! Then he said he was going to detain me for "Evading arrest."
I didn't even know I was going to be arrested, so how can I evade it?
I explained to him that I work here, and that the reason I was speeding was because I was late. Nothing like the truth.
"Why didn't you stop?" he barked.
"I did stop!"
At around that time, THREE MORE squad cars pull up. Jesus H. Christ, it's a f*cking routine traffic stop, and these gumshoes are making a federal case about it. Aren't there other crimes that they could be solving right now?
He claimed that he had been following me since before I made my left turn and that I was going 55 in a 30 zone. More bull****.
With the arrival of backup, he seemed to calm down a little. Then another officer asked if he could "search" the vehicle, a request that I denied. The Dirty Harry wanna-be then said that they were going to impound my truck so that a warrant could be obtained.
"Well, if that's what you gotta do, then do it, but you aren't searching my truck without a warrant." I said. Boy, was I ever glad I cleaned all of the old beer bottles out of my truck the night before. The officer stepped aside to confer with a corporal who had arrived in the cadre, while another officer gave me a field sobriety test, which I passed.
They ran a full background check on me, looking for both local and state warrants I might have. They found nothing.
After talking with the corporal, they figured out that there really wasn't anything that they could hold me on, and all that they could do was cite me for speeding and no front license plate. Ha! Bitches.
"Well, it's your lucky day, you aren't going to jail," said Dirty Harry, with obvious disgust in his voice as he uncuffed me. I asked him if it was standard procedure to draw his sidearm when pulling over a speeding suspect, and another officer said that because I didn't immediately stop when I saw him, that it was "evading arrest," and that was a felony offense. He claimed that any felonious stop requires his gun to be draw.
What the hell was I supposed to do, stop in the middle of the street and obstruct traffic?
I fully intend to fight the speeding charge, because the cop admitted that he didn't have me on radar. What's more is that Dirty Harry was/is a rookie; He needed help from another officer when filling out the citation. And all of this happened with my boss and co-workers looking on.
So that is how my morning went yesterday. How about you?