Something to offend EVERYONE!!! - 460 Ford Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-22-2007, 04:00 PM Thread Starter
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Something to offend EVERYONE!!!

These are pretty good... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Doug... 8)

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is the difference between
a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the
Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between
a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between
a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends

What's the difference between
a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women
they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between
a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the *****s on the outside.


What did the blonde say when
she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to
move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult
to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education
classes in Redneck schools
use the car only on Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong

What would you call it when
an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the
flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between
a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal
on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little
80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between
a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****"

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides




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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] '86 F150... 521 w/ FRPP SCJ Heads, Glide...
Best ET: 1/8---6.17 @ 112 mph N/A @ 1200'
6.34 @ 112 mph N/A @ 5000'
1/4---9.73 @ 136 mph N/A @ 1200'
9.97 @ 135 mph N/A @ 5000'
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-22-2007, 04:14 PM
jm
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that is hillarious :lol: :lol: :lol: i pissed myself laughing
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-25-2007, 06:11 AM
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Damn, I can't find anything there to offend me.....damn.

1970 Galaxie Sportsroof
1972 Falcon XA GT
2003 Falcon BA XR8 ute
1963 1/2 Galaxie Fastback
Check out my website here www.xr8ute.com
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-25-2007, 06:54 AM
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Thats funny Doug. now when are you going to post the offending part?


Randy
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-25-2007, 08:55 AM Thread Starter
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I know I know. I just copied & pasted it as it was. But they're still good... :lol: :lol: :lol:


Doug... 8)

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] '86 F150... 521 w/ FRPP SCJ Heads, Glide...
Best ET: 1/8---6.17 @ 112 mph N/A @ 1200'
6.34 @ 112 mph N/A @ 5000'
1/4---9.73 @ 136 mph N/A @ 1200'
9.97 @ 135 mph N/A @ 5000'
ThndrChkn is offline  
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