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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 06:41 AM Thread Starter
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OK, WAY OT. Need your opinions though.

Ok guys, this is way off topic,but I really need some advise here. I thought I would come here as we're such a big family and are considered brothers here(one of you literally).

Anyway, here's my dilema. In 2003 my wife was nearly killed in an auto "accident" when she was driving this MKVIII


and another woman who was high on Meth at the time, hit her broadside @ 40-50 mph, leaving her in a wheel chair. Not totally disabled, but enough so that her (our) everyday lifestyle has changed dramatically. In short, she suffered the same injury that killed Dale Earnhardt.

Well, after nearly 3 yrs. I (we) decided I should try to get back to work, so in Aug. of '06 I went back to work and it was and is very nice to have something other than her SSDI to live on for my family of 4. But as it turns out, her therapies are suffering because the homecare people aren't near as aggressive as her original therapist was before I went back to work. Plus our government being what it is, her Medicare will not cover the therapies for long periods, so homecare only comes every few months and only provides care for about 6 weeks before they stop and reschedule it for 3-4 months down the road. So I have been dicussing it with her and a couple of other guys here on the forum, and I am thinking about quitting my job and just devoting my fulltime attention to her again. My boss said they would do what they could to help but it seems anytime something comes up like her Grandmother's funeral last week, (which we missed) this place is more important than family.

I told my wife that she(and her health) is more important to me than me having a job. And even if that means putting my Galaxie project on hold, I will go back to being her fulltime caregiver and maybe down the road I can find at least a part-time job somewhere so I can get my project finished. But she sees how happy it makes me to be able to do the things I like to do, like my Galaxie project and many other things that we couldn't do before I went back to work, and doesn't want me to quit. Sure we've got friends and family, but they've got jobs, families, and lives too. So basically, all we have is US. And I don't want to quit either, 'cause like I said before, that extra money sure is nice to have but not so nice that she has to suffer for it.

I'm just looking for some more advise because I've already made up my mind as to which direction I'm gonna go. Like I said before, my build, or my job aren't that important to me that she has to do without her therapy and be in more pain as a result.

Thanks for listening,



Doug... 8)

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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 07:04 AM
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Hey Doug, I would say as long as your family is'nt going without life's essentials, go for it. The funny thing about money is no matter how much you got it still ain't enough. I don't know how it is in Montana but here in Iowa a family member can get paid by the state to be a caregiver. What you are doing is a real stand up thing to do, and you know with hard work things can always change for the (more) positive down the road. How long you been married?, how old are your kids?

Mags
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 07:31 AM
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Doug,
Saddens me to hear of your wifes accident and current situation that you both face, life can be cruel at times but in the same time am glad to hear that your wife has a great husband such as yourself to look after her,the way i see it is if you stop work all together it will make your wife unhappy because she knows you can not do the things that make you happy without a working income, is it possible to have work in a part time basis that way you can still look after your wife and have some sort of income to help you along.
Whatever you have decided am sure will be right for both of you,Doug you sound like an exceptional man with great qualities we all need a hobby of some sort to keep us sane and more importantly happy, wishing both of you all the health, happiness and good fortune,take care of yourself and your wife.

Theo
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 07:40 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys. Hey Mags, we've been married 17 yrs. coming up in Sept. My kids will be 13 & 14 this fall. The last time I checked, in Montana a family member "can" get compensation for being a caregiver as long as they're not married. The state told me if I wanted any compensation we would have to get a divorce. And that didn't settle well with me at all. That shouldn't even be an option!! :evil:



Doug... 8)

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] '86 F150... 521 w/ FRPP SCJ Heads, Glide...
Best ET: 1/8---6.17 @ 112 mph N/A @ 1200'
6.34 @ 112 mph N/A @ 5000'
1/4---9.73 @ 136 mph N/A @ 1200'
9.97 @ 135 mph N/A @ 5000'
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 01:36 PM
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I was in a bad situation like that a while back. My ex-girlfriend was hit by a car doing ~50 MPH, when she was walking across the street. I was there to see it too. Major injuries and a miracle she lived.

I quit my job and skipped the rest of my semester at school except finals. Put my car and truck projects on hold and just scraped by. Spent just about all my time with her in the hospitol and helping take care of her and keep her happy when she was released. She always wanted me around, even before her memory started coming back she was always asking for me when I wasn't there. It felt right to be there for her so I did what I had to do to be there just about all the time.

Went back to school and worked part time after she was recovered and could get around a bit on her own. Still was there every day to help her out and keep her company. Eventually she could walk pretty normal again and could drive so things got back much more to normal.

Then after a while she broke up with me. Whatever, just as well since I'm happier with someone else now. But back to the topic at hand. I'd say do what feels right to you. For me it was putting my life on hold for a year or so to be there for her when she wanted me around, then picking back up with things as her situation improved.

Perhaps the thing to do would be a compromise from working full time and find something part time so you can still be there most of the time for her yet can still have some money to play with. Only you can know what's right for you and your family.
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 05:51 PM
 
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Doug,

Just an idea, could you maybe find work that you could do from home such as maybe start an ebay store selling something specialized (like BBF parts). Good luck and I wish you both well.

Dan
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 07:32 PM
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Yeh, man......I was thinking of the "work from home" deal, too. You've got a computer, so the possibilities are endless. A guy I work with spends his spare time buying old stereo equipment at pawn shops and selling the stuff on e-bay. I was shocked to see him pay $20 or $30 for some of this crap, then turn it for $300 or so. Apparently, there's a real market for "nostalgic" amps, tuners, speakers and such. He's constantly shipping this stuff all over the world.

Pick your own particular type of scrap heap, and if you know where to look......you'll find somebody who wants it. (P.T. Barnum was right.)

Shoot, if she's up to it, maybe your wife could get involved. What the heck?.....Start small ?

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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 09:28 PM
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Alway's been a believer in a person has to do what they believe to be right. You have to live with yourself. I will be praying for you, your wife and your children. Will also pray for the Good Lord to give you direction. Wish you the Best.

Thanks
Plowboy34
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 10:17 PM
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I think...

I think plowboy34 said it all........prayers...

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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 11:32 PM
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Life has away of taking care of us. I like the e-bay route buy and sell. Your a smart guy start buying cars, boats, tractors, lawn mowers, outboards, sporting goods, that need a little TLC and peddle them plus you know car parts not just Fords but any make that you can make a buck on. Start some kind of service handy man, lawn care (I do that on the side to make hot rod money), find something nobody wants to do and work that. Keep your price's competitive if not cheap to start, don't let your ego get in the way of making money( some one has to clean the out the septic tanks )Try not to get 1099ed so the Govt. can track you, give discounts for cash. Try not to have a large inventory so all your money is tied up in that. Buy and sell or start service you'll do just fine and on your time. Remember what the good Reverend Ike said (There is only one good place for your money, that's in in MY back pocket)a little humor there. Good Luck and GOD BLESS! Your a GOOD MAN!! UF
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 11:55 PM
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Isnt Ike the guy who said"Why have your pie in the sky,when you can have your cake and eat it too."?
Doug you know what I think of you and your situation.Love ya Man.

God bless
Lonnie
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-17-2007, 12:23 AM
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Ditto on the previous statements.
I would add, just keep you eyes open for little money making opportunities. Work under the radar, off the grid, out of the network, etc..
Even though I have a steady day job, I am constantyly working side jobs and projects for cash money.
Since I was a teenager I have done:
Pickup up scrap wood, pallets, trees, logs etc and cut them up and sold them for firewood. (great spring summer job) good returns come fall.

Supplied homemade alcoholic beverages to fraternities and sorority parties while in college. (OK not exactly legal, but damn the $$ was good)

Made a green house and hydroponic gardens. Grew berries, veggies lettuce etc... All organic, supplied various restaurants with stuff.
These days organic is all the rage. Helena is north and colder so the natural growing season is short. a half dome 20 foot greenhouse made from PVC and clear plastic can grow alot of food. Strawberries in september/october are quite tasty.


Bought and sold various car/parts bits pieces bought cheap from swap meets wrecking yards etc. Cleaned them up, polish paint etc and they sell. Thats how Ford Auto Wrecking came to be. I incorporated my hobby.

Recycling: Damn near everything recycles today. and prices have never been higher. paper plastic glass, metals. (Is there a shooting range, indoor or outdoor), maybe you could get in and "clean" the range.
Brass sells for good money.
I do that as well right now for two ranges in Salt Lake City.

Basicaly just keep your eyes open and ears clear.. things will come out of the wood work to make a few bucks.


PS:
Right now this week I am in Great Falls. Till Thursday morning.
I plan on heading down to Buzz Rose's wrecking yard. that day..
I need to talk to him about that 65 galalxie and I need to find a window and grill for my 68 galalxie car. and some early style 429-460 valve covers.. and a few other things I am sure I can't live without.

Lets meet there in the afternoon on thursday if possible.
You gave me you number but I forgot to take it with me.
Give me a call 801-564-9430 In the evening if you can make it.

Take Care
Dane V
www.fordautowrecking.com
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-17-2007, 11:44 AM
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Doug,

Is there something you can do from home as a 'job'? To bring in some more money?

I think you are making the right choice and commend you for it!

Maybe we can all give you some ideas, no matter how crazy, like taxidermy or selling deer urine (No kidding!) something up your alley.

Good Luck!



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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-17-2007, 11:57 AM
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Doug I have known you for a while now and I know what you are going thru. I know for a fact nothing is stronger than the love for your other half. My hat is off to you for what ever you do.


Randy
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-17-2007, 06:33 PM
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Salute. 8)

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