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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-01-2007, 11:02 PM Thread Starter
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A little thought for the weekend

>>
>> 1. Don't sweat the petty things and
>> don't pet the sweaty things.
>>
>> 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
>>
>> 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

>> 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes,
>> why do we still have monkeys and apes?
>> And why don't we have those creatures
>> between Monkey & Man?
>>
>> 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where
>>all the bad girls live.
>>
>> 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,
>> "Where's the self-help section?"
>> She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
>>
>> 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>>
>> 8. If a deaf person swears,
>> does his mother wash his hands with soap?
>>
>> 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill
>>himself,
>> is it considered a hostage situation?
>>
>> 10. Is there another word for synonym?
>>
>> 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
>>
>> 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal
>> eating an endangered plant?
>>
>> 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
>>
>> 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
>>
>> 15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
>> Are they afraid someone will clean them?
>>
>> 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell,
>> is he homeless or naked?
>>
>> 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
>>
>> 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him
>> he has the right to remain silent?
>>
>> 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
>>
>> 20. How do they get deer to cross the road
>> only at those yellow road signs?
>>
>> 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
>>
>> 22. One nice thing about egotists:
>> They don't talk about other people.
>>
>> 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
>>
>> 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much
>> as adults enjoy adultery?
>>
>> 25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
>>
>> 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns,
>> do the rest drown too?
>>
>> 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto,
>> would you still be hungry?
>>
>> 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
>>
>> 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp"
>> to have "S" in it?
>>
>> 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids"
>> instead of "asteroids"?
>>
>> 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
>>
>> 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
>>
>> 33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times,
>> does he become disoriented?
>>
>> 34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
>>

Joe


But it's a dry heat!
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-02-2007, 03:14 PM
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Why does a woman wear a PAIR of panties, but only ONE bra? :roll:

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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-02-2007, 08:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maverick
Why does a woman wear a PAIR of panties, but only ONE bra? :roll:

UUUUUUUUHH?????? :shock: That's a great question...




Doug... 8)

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] '86 F150... 521 w/ FRPP SCJ Heads, Glide...
Best ET: 1/8---6.17 @ 112 mph N/A @ 1200'
6.34 @ 112 mph N/A @ 5000'
1/4---9.73 @ 136 mph N/A @ 1200'
9.97 @ 135 mph N/A @ 5000'
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-02-2007, 10:31 PM
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I prefer she wears neither!!!
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-02-2007, 10:41 PM
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Very Nice....



Doug... 8)

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] '86 F150... 521 w/ FRPP SCJ Heads, Glide...
Best ET: 1/8---6.17 @ 112 mph N/A @ 1200'
6.34 @ 112 mph N/A @ 5000'
1/4---9.73 @ 136 mph N/A @ 1200'
9.97 @ 135 mph N/A @ 5000'
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-03-2007, 06:17 AM
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Why do they call that place a "sanitary landfill"?........Have they ever BEEN THERE????

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