5 ***** HANGOVER - 460 Ford Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-24-2008, 09:57 AM Thread Starter
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5 ***** HANGOVER

The 5 star hangover - Now that is just Funny as ****!! LMAO



One Star Hangover (*): - This is what I call a "weekday hangover"
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to
function relatively well; however, you are still
parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this
way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.


Two Star Hangover (**): More than likely a Thursday or Friday night hangover!! LOL
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may
look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a
staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only
increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing
around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle
House excursion. There is some definite havoc being
wreaked upon your bowels.


Three Star Hangover (***): Im not going to lie, I have had one of these during the weekday! oops..
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are
definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you
gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored
schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to
drink. Life would be better right now if you were home
in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of
coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke
--- yet you haven't peed once.


Four Star Hangover (****): Definately a weekend hangover!
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak
too quickly or else you might puke. (For the ladies, it looks like you
put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.)
Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your
hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and
the first of about five ****s you take during the day
brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the
bathroom.


Five Star Hangover (*****): Again, Weekend hangover...
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is
actually annoying the employee who sits in the next
cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and
making you dizzy. In fact, you are probably still
drunk. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners
of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt
to get the remnants of the poop fairy out.(now that is the funniest sentence in the world...... poop fairy- everyone knows that guy!! HAHA) Your body
has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue
is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea
who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed
this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a
fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with
a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this
'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all
over your ***. Death sounds pretty good about right
now!


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:


Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon


THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE
DRUNK:


Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate


THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
YOU'RE DRUNK:


Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
I just can't eat that egg burrito



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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-24-2008, 10:32 AM
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been there..done that :roll: :lol:

Dan Hobbs 2004 Super Pro Champion Windy Hollow 2002 NHRA National Dragster Challenge Super Pro Champion Beech Bend Raceway Best ET 5.290 @ 132.95 1.14 60 Ft. 575 injected alcohol 2008 & 2009 BBF Bash PRO Champion(The Guy With 2 BIG Checks)2010FunFord Super Pro Winner @Norwalk,Oh. 2011 NHRA National HotRod Reunion Gas Eliminator Champion..2012 Ford Thunder Q-16 Heads Up Champion

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-25-2008, 06:21 AM
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nick thats some funny chit right there !! and very tru.....Yep and been there once or twice myself!! :lol:
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-25-2008, 03:22 PM
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Been there, done that, got the stained t-shirt to prove it...

John


87 Mustang, 514, glide, etc...
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-27-2008, 05:13 PM
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YEP , thats about it, especiallly 4* & 5*
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