Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Texas Panhandle
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how the fight started!
Subject: How the fight started
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... ..so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would
make her look better at night than the cold cream............ and that's how
the fight started.
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my
shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver ha ir on your
chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your
pants. You might have gotten disability, too'........... and that's how the
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, she's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.My God!' says my wife, 'Who
would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And that's how the
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
ge t soooo stressed and little things just seem too funny? Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked
up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' >So, I looked down at him and
said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And that's how the fight started.....
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't
you worried about the mad cow?' Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's
how the fight started....