IRS audit - 460 Ford Forum
Chilly's Garage A place for non-460 banter.

User Tag List

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-13-2008, 06:24 PM Thread Starter
Forum Contributor
 
schmitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Holdrege, NE
Posts: 3,225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
 
IRS audit

Don't mess with old people.
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his
attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a
demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt,
so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on
the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's
desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he
could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy
about it.'

run what ya brung and hope you brung enough
89 F150 mud drag truck
Charter member 460Ford.com "*** kissers"
BUILT 460Ford.com forum TOUGH. Assembled by me and all my friends here. It don't get no better than that.
schmitty is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-13-2008, 06:30 PM
Senior Member
 
bruno's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: MILLBROOK, AL.
Posts: 6,970
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
 
bruno is offline  
post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-13-2008, 06:37 PM
Senior Member
 
BOWTIEKILLER545's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 918
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
 
:shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
BOWTIEKILLER545 is offline  
 
post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-14-2008, 12:15 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: SARASOTA FL.
Posts: 1,428
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
 
wished id read that befor thay got me :lol: :lol: :lol:
res0rli9 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the 460 Ford Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome