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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-27-2009, 10:14 PM Thread Starter
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Banned from Walmart

BANNED FROM WAL-MART...

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most
women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the
local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to
ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed
below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!' And last, but not least......

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's n o toilet paper in
here!'
Sincerely,
Wal-Mart

run what ya brung and hope you brung enough
89 F150 mud drag truck
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-27-2009, 11:31 PM
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showed this to my wife and she almost pissed herself laughing
Frank
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-28-2009, 07:54 AM
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Damn Schmitty have you been watching me again???



Randy
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-28-2009, 07:57 AM Thread Starter
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We've been taking turns watching you, and that week was the one I was pulling shift on.

run what ya brung and hope you brung enough
89 F150 mud drag truck
Charter member 460Ford.com "*** kissers"
BUILT 460Ford.com forum TOUGH. Assembled by me and all my friends here. It don't get no better than that.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-28-2009, 06:12 PM
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I've seen you there quite a few times I just thought you were one of them from the short bus.
Rick

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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-28-2009, 08:37 PM
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thats funny lol

1997 ranger

If you cant run with the big dogs stay in the pits
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