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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2009, 12:59 PM Thread Starter
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salami smuggler

MAN TEST

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. Andjust think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as tinkerbell. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free *** passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the ***** off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a salami smuggler.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2009, 01:35 PM
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AMEN

'he never hit the brakes and he was shifting gears'

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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2009, 07:39 PM
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Talking

Now that's FUNNY
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2009, 07:42 PM
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GOT DAT CHIT RIGHT

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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2009, 07:46 PM
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Oh my god, dude, do you see the same advertisement at the bottom that I do? "Connexion for gay men," it says! All because the thread has the words "gay" and "queer" in it!

That's the new type of "advertisement" software that they run. Whatever words are used in the thread determines the advertisement that runs in it.

Ha!

"Victoria's Secret" "breast enhancement" "Hooters" "beer."

The Original "RedneckProfessor"
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2009, 07:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mguy View Post
Oh my god, dude, do you see the same advertisement at the bottom that I do? "Connexion for gay men," it says! All because the thread has the words "gay" and "queer" in it!

That's the new type of "advertisement" software that they run. Whatever words are used in the thread determines the advertisement that runs in it.

Ha!

"Victoria's Secret" "breast enhancement" "Hooters" "beer."

Rick Brown
(LIL TWEETY) BBF 62 Falcon Tube Chassis
Member of a BAND OF BROTHERS

Pro Motion Machining
Perfect Reflections Photography
Bronx Corner Automotive
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2009, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mguy View Post
Oh my god, dude, do you see the same advertisement at the bottom that I do? "Connexion for gay men," it says! All because the thread has the words "gay" and "queer" in it!

That's the new type of "advertisement" software that they run. Whatever words are used in the thread determines the advertisement that runs in it.

Ha!

"Victoria's Secret" "breast enhancement" "Hooters" "beer."
I see an ad for Miller High Life - maybe it chooses ads by the the cookies stored in your computer - is there something you're not telling us?????














just kidding [smile]
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-26-2009, 09:26 PM
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funny lol

1997 ranger

If you cant run with the big dogs stay in the pits
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