Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: merritt Island fl
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SHOP TOOLS EXPLAINED
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
>> metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
>> flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project
>> you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
>> WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under
>> workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and
>> calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh --'
>> SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make things too short.
>> PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of
>> BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
>> touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
>> HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
>> principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
>> and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your
>> future becomes.
>> VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt
>> If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense
>> welding heat to the palm of hand.
>> OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable
>> objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside
>> wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..
>> TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch
>> projectiles for testing wall integrity.
>> PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids
>> for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your
>> shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips
>> screw heads.
>> STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to
>> convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering
>> PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
>> you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
>> HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.
>> HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is
>> as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the
>> object we are trying to hit.
>> UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard
>> cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents
>> such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector
>> magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful
>> slicing work clothes, but only while in use.