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3,195 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
These are pretty good::

Doug... 8)

What Gets Longer When Pulled,

Fits Between your Boobs,

Inserts Neatly in a Hole

AND Works Best When Jerked?

A Seatbelt you Pervert! Buckle Up!


Four women were driving across the country. Each one was from a
different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Montana and California.

Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling
potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window.

"What the heck are you doing?" demanded the Nebraskan.

"We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of
looking at them!"

A moment later, the gal from Nebraska began pulling ears of corn from
her bag and tossing them from the window.

"What are you doing that for?" asked the gal from Montana.

"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking
at them!"

Inspired, the gal from Montana opened the car door and pushed the
Californian out.

>Jose and Carlos

>Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp. Jose drives

>Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to

>Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day. Carlos asks Jose how he

>bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.

>Jose says, "Look at your sign." It reads: "I have no work, a wife & 6

>to support"

>Carlos looks at Jose's sign. It reads: "I only need another $10.00 to

>back to Mexico ."

728 Posts
rofl... especially like the second one.... but ive got one thats related to both you might like, heres how it goes....

a texan, a mexican, an englishman, and a frenchman are in a plane that has lost 3 of its four engines, and is barely staying in the air over the ocean, miles from land.

"we must lose weight or were not going to make it!" the mexican says, so they throw all the cargo and supplies out into the sea. the plane starts to level out, but still drops in altitude.

so, the frenchman, deciding to do the noble thing yells "viva la france!" and jumps to his death, relieving the plane of his weight.

the plane is still going down, and not to be outdone by the frenchman, the englishman yells "for the queen!" and jumps to his death.

after another minute, the plane is still dropping. the texan yells "remember the alamo!" and he picks up the mexican and throws him out to sea. :lol:

hope you like it

3,195 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
That's pretty good..... :lol:

Doug... 8)
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