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6,697 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Some Humor for those of us that need a laugh today :!:

Here's a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a
5-year old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that
we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house
the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an
interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day
observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough,
more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with
her,let her sit with them while they had c offee and lunch breaks, and gave
her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay
envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to
her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested
that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the
the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and
asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a
young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the
building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracio us," said the teller, "and will you be
on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot
ever deliver the f#$%ing sheet rock..."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye........

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6,697 Posts
Discussion Starter #3

1,990 Posts
Here's a good one sent to me at work.

New diet,

I used to have a Labrador retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?). On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try itagain.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the black guy was going to have to stagger out the door.
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