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Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Blanche, our
hunting dog, at Wal-Mart and was standing in line about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. First thing I thought was
"where is your sign lady" but decided to go with it...SO...
On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was
starting the Purina weight loss Diet again.

I said I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is, you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete... So.... I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in t he line was by
now enthralled with my story to say the least. Totally horrified, the
lady asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me.

I told her no; I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's
*** and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

WAL-MART asked me not to shop there anymore.


:shock:


Randy
 

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Oh no! I saw it coming and still had to read on. I figured it was the one where you were licking your balls in the driveway and the wife backed over you. :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

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I've read a similar story, but when the lady asked why I was in intensive care, the response was "I threw my back out when I was licking my balls".

Wayne (SAWDOFF) Pearce
 
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