460 Ford Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,451 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Two rednecks, Jimbo and Bubba, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jimbo turns to Bubba and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.'

Bubba thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jimbo goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Jimbo says. 'What 's that?'

The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'

'Yeah.'

'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.'

'That's true, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Yes, I do have a house.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'

'Yes, I have a family.'

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.'

'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.'

Excited to take the class now, Jimbo shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bubba at the bar. He tells Bubba about his classes, how he
is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Bubba says, 'What's that?'

Jimbo says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'

'No'

'Then you're a queer'
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,225 Posts
Darn glad I got me a weedeater.:D:D:D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,790 Posts
:D:D:D Jimbo and Bubba's sister wrote a letter too Dear Abby and it read something like this.
Dear Abby, I'm a 13 yr. old girl from rural Appalachia, and still a Virgin.I have two older brothers named Jimbo and Bubba. I'm was just wondering if my brothers could be Queer.:eek:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,232 Posts
Reminds me of the story of the redneck who sat next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer thought he'd have a little fun at the redneck's expense so as they were taking off he struck up a conversation.

"Hey, I bet you that I can ask you a question you can't answer, but if you can, I'll give you five dollars. But if you can't, you have to give me five dollars.
And more, if you can ask me a question I can't answer, I'll give you five hundred dollars! But if I can answer it, you only have to give me five bucks!"

The redneck thinks it over and decides, what the heck. So the lawyer asks him some well thought out question that no redneck could ever answer. Without a word, the redneck hands over a five dollar bill.

"Now ask me a question" the lawyer prompted.

"Ok, what's black and red and green and rolls uphill" the redneck asked.

The lawyer thought and thought and got online, called his friends from the airfone and checked every avenue available to him to find the answer to the question. The redneck, having fallen asleep some time ago, seemed oblivious to the commotion.

Finally, the lawyer gave up, woke up the redneck and handed him five, hundred dollar bills. The redneck put them in his pocket and promptly closed his eyes to go back to sleep. The lawyer couldn't contain himself and poked the redneck to wake him up.

"Hey, I gotta know, what's the answer to your question?"

The redneck wordlessly handed him five dollars...
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top